Thankful Thursday On Saturday

I was spending Thursday resting with Rick as he was recovering from a head cold and I was trying to rest a bit for being out all night at the movies. So, I'm going to catch up now.

• I'm thankful we were able to get our car home from it's breakdown point on the freeway. We were both worried we would have to have it towed but Rick got it back by the skin of his teeth and me following right behind to make sure it was okay. I'm so thankful he was okay as it's coolant system is shot and the problem was overheating. I prayed him home for sure. We are on one vehicle but every time that happens to us it makes me so thankful we live so close to school and my little job. God is good.


• I'm thankful my brother was able to come home for Thanksgiving. It was not going to be that way for a long time because my mom could not afford to bring him home for both holidays. (My brother lives on a Christian ranch for disabled adults) She was able to get a great deal and he had been so sad not to be home for Thanksgiving. I'm so glad it worked out.


• I'm thankful again for my little job and the sweet lady I work for. She has been so nice to give me some extra hours so we can have some sort of Christmas this year. I don't think we have ever had such a tight year and my being able to do some extra work that does not take away from my work at home or family time has been a gift straight from God's hand. I am SO VERY thankful.


• Oddly, I'm thankful it is such a tight year. It's making me think harder and get even more creative. I've really been focused in a non-material way this year and am learning some real restraint. I have shopped for NOTHING yet. We probably won't be able to shop until the beginning of December and we will have to be so careful. It's so good for me and I think this Christmas will be the best ever because the sights, sounds and family love will be the greatest gifts. I'm really having a special joy about each little cheap idea I get and that's a blessing.


• I'm continually thankful for the best friend I have in Rick. The past year has been a tough year when it comes to friends for me for many reasons. I'm in that stage of life where my kids are getting a little older and I want to start doing girly things but I have very few spontaneous friends. Rick and I are both spontaneous and though it's hard for us to get out much, I so appreciate that part of him and look forward to the fun we will have more and more. We just love so much in life and getting out and doing stuff. I look forward to doing that more and more with the kids too as we are able. I have wished that I was able to find more girlfriends that way who you could just call up and say "let's go..." and they say "alright! sounds great!". I live up in the middle of nowhere and far away from most of my friends anyway. My best friend here is like a sister to me but she just had baby #5 and I'm just not in that chapter of my life anymore. I guess I'm just so glad Rick totally gets this part of who I am. He totally understands and is so truly anxious that I get the chance to get out. He seems to understand where my head is at this stage of life and he appreciates that I'm there. On our level as husband and wife it's great. As I am restless about friends, he is understanding and becomes so precious to me because as my very best friend, he is the best spontaneous soul I know. Bless you babe.


• I'm so thankful for my maturing daughter. It's scary but exciting to see her growing up both physically and emotionally. I am so proud of her and love that when we sit down and talk about God's perspective on things in her life, she really gets it. Growing up is NOT easy and I know I did not get some things spiritually at nearly 12 that she already gets now. I really look forward to the next few years with her. I know there will be very hard obstacles yet to come but the light at the end of each of those tunnels really brings me joy. She is such a sweet and interesting child. All my kids are interesting. I love that about them.

This week will be a great week to reflect on all those things to be thankful for. We will always be able to find problems in life but we can usually find more things to be thankful for to out shadow them. That's a great gift from God.

My New Moon Review (No Spoilers)

Yes, I stood outside for two and a half hours to see Twilight and New Moon both last night. I did not waste a penny and that is saying something because I'm someone who HATES wasting money at the movies. I was not sure it would be a big thing to see Twilight on the big screen since I had seen it so many times at home. I was so wrong. It was like I had never seen it before. Many people criticized Rob Pattinson's acting in Twilight but when you see it on the big screen you really notice every facial expression and he did an amazing job. Kristen was nothing to scream about but then I have a hard time with the Bella character herself till near the end of the series when she stops wining about everything, and I certainly don't enjoy Kristen's acting. Still, it was so much fun to see it. The baseball scene was great but went to fast!

Now, on to New Moon.

What I loved:

(I will not get into the story so that I don't ruin it for anyone who has not seen it.)

• Yeah to Summit for following the book so closely, even with direct lines that were great in the book.


• Taylor (Jacob)'s acting was so emotionally sound and he allowed us to really get absorbed into the perspective of his character. I was tickled to noticed the poor kid has not fully left puberty as his voice still crackles a bit. That was funny but not annoying. It actually added to it since Jacob is so much a man and yet still a boy in many ways still. The book creates such a long and drawn out pull on your heart strings for Jacob and though the movie did not have the luxury of time they did an excellent job of getting you to make that connection right away and have you feeling so darn bad for Jacob. Those of us who have read the book know that will carry on into Eclipse and I think Taylor has laid some great groundwork for his coming acting. Amazing.


• The wolves were my favorite part of the movie. When I saw the preview I was disappointed that they were not as big as they were in my imagination but on the big screen that all changed. They were overwhelming in sight and sound. Great job.


• Edward is not in the movie much but when he is you feel a maturity in Rob's acting as well as a maturity in the expression of deep love he feels for Bella. You felt his desperation entirely.


• The coloring of the film had a powerful effect. Many of you know Twilight was blue filtered and New Moon was yellow filtered. Their eyes were freakishly more noticeable and made for more intensity in New Moon with every expression. It also mad such a distinction to the Volturi eyes and set the Cullens apart as the different Vampire family they are.


• Kristen's acting got better as the movie went along. This was relief to see as I've been so frustrated with her acting before. Knowing where the Bella character goes in the story, one would hope she could fine tune her acting skills to be able to pull off where she is headed.


• It's cleaner! Twilight bothered me with it's pushing the decency line with Bella on her bed in t-shirt and undies inviting her love to make out with her. Thankfully Edward is all about restraint but it still was more than the book's intensity sexually. New Moon stays more true to the story and we see an appropriate amount of passionate kissing that is very loving and not stepping into sexually explosive.

What I did not like

• I'm sorry but the scene where Bella holds up her finger with the paper cut (which cannot be a spoiler for any who have seen the preview) has bothered me from the beginning. I feel it's VERY bad directing. When an adult gets a paper cut they probably will take their hurt hand into their good hand and look down at it. A toddler would hold it up for all to see and announce it. BEYOND THAT...HELLO! ...how about the fact that you know you are in a room with VAMPIRES! Any smart person would probably try to hide it or pop it in their mouth right away to block the smell. Jasper did not need this dramatic gesture, his senses are heightened enough without it and in the book you don't picture it that way at all. Besides that, the scene was good.


• The movie has to move so fast from one part to another. It does not flow as well as Twilight but Twilight had it's other problems. New Moon as a book is very long and drawn out and although it was fun to see things resolve faster on the screen, there were times I wished it would slow down so I could feel the pull I did in the book. If you had not read the book, I'm not sure you would be able to make the correlations as to what was happening next.


• The music was good but not as good and well placed as Twilight. Twilight got an A+ on score and soundtrack.


• The vision of Alice (I say no more for the sake of some) was ridiculous. I expected a Unicorn to ride in the scene. Please. Gag me. They better be cooking up something much better than that by the time we get to Bella in Breaking Dawn or I'll jump off the wagon entirely.


• Kristen's acting....what can I say? It got better but I would love to see some more emotional reaction out of this girl. Did we see a single tear go down her face? I don't remember one. Bella in the book is sobbing often and heart broken. Kristen acts like her throat is full of cotton when she gets sad but we don't see a normal female love struck reaction to heartbreak. She growls and screams in her dreams but she never weeps. Show me some weeping woman!

In between:

• THE ENDING! Oh, my word. The only part in the movie that played against the rules of the book. BUT! It was not bad. It was astounding. The whole theater had the same reaction "AHHH!"

I'll tell you no more ....go see for yourself.

If Summit follows their pattern of improvement we will be looking for one amazing Breaking Dawn! What a ride!

If you have not read my blog on the Twilight Saga itself as it relates to Christians please click home and scroll down past this post to the next.

My Twilight Soap Box

I've contemplated this blog post forever. I've shied away from it for forever too. I finally decided to stop since Twilight is on my brain this week, and I feel it's time to get this off my chest.....

I'M A HUGE FAN!

I've been frustrated by the presupposed judgements made on the Twilight books as well as the premise that Vampire books are ungodly. I've read reviews by some who have read the Internet synopsis and based their assumptions on that alone, and I've read some who have based their thoughts on the first book alone. One went so far as to say that we should not read Twilight because we should only focus on the love story between Christ and ourselves (this person will have to highly limit their reading and movie choices as well as rip out the Song of Songs from their Bible I'm afraid) as it is the only real love story in our lives. Oooooo, this will be like tip -toeing on glass to get through, and I'm not even sure exactly what my reasoning is way back there in my head, but I'll just hope what is there will somehow make it's way out well. There are also many aspects to this discussion that I don't know how on earth to hit them all. I'm really just going to give what's on the top of my head.

First, let's just talk about the writing and who it's geared for. It is very important to state, and I firmly concur, that Stephanie Meyer DID NOT INTEND for this to be teen literature. The books gain adult momentum as you reach the third one, and some may feel their teens can handle the subject matter as it is presented inside the context of marriage, but let it just be said here that they were not written for teens. The easy style of reading was what got them categorized as such. The writing style is good, but not complicated or challenging in the literary sense. I have to say, for me as a busy mom, that was one of the things I liked about it.

Second, let's just get into the issue of Vampires shall we? I myself have never been interested in this genre of literature. I'm your typical Bronte/Austen girl all the way. I don't enjoy any kind of horror stories except some good Edgar Alan Poe. Even some of his work creeps me out. I don't think there is anything wrong with Vampire stories however, just as I don't have a problem with Alien stories, or Big Foot, though I'm also not into them. Further still however is the fact that Twilight is not even a typical Vampire story. Yes, there are Vampires in it, but never before have we seen such a take on them. These Vampires don't want to be evil and they recognize killing humans as evil, so they do the only thing they can and feed on animal blood. Let it be said too that this element of the books is only mentioned in fact as one might say "I went out for dinner" and never described in detail or played out dramatically. You cannot even get a gross-me-out from them being "Vegetarians", as they call it. Meyer has created the new, noble Vampire, so to speak, that quite frankly may bore and even frustrate die hard Vampire literature fans! More on Vampires in a little while.

Thirdly, one of the criticisms of Twilight seems to be the frowning upon such an intense romance and romantic character. Some have said that Bella idolizes Edward and would go against anything to have him and be with him. Well, I hate to remind people that that is one element that makes a great story-intensity. Dare I remind anyone of the traditional Romeo and Juliet plot? Do parents of High Schoolers debate whether to have their kids read this play in fear that they may hide a romance, or worse yet, commit suicide because of it? I don't understand then why they would think that an intelligent young woman would deduce that losing all reason or the approval of her parents in a relationship of her choice would be okay because Bella did it! I would hope we could pour more into our kids than to bear concerns like that at ever turn of their fiction absorption. If they did, I would say they were not at the proper maturity level for the reading. Furthermore, I have to say, there are many similarities throughout the story of other traditional novels as Meyer will say herself. You will even find trace reflections of , now wait for it....Austen. Meyer herself was read classic novels by her father growing up and was exposed to them before being exposed to some popular children's works, but I digress.

Intensity of passion and love without sense and rationality are common literary themes. It is true that Twilight shows this in a light never before seen but if we take another look, we will find that it's just a storyline with different clothes on. That is not to say that it is not original, it absolutely is, but the story of love itself and the intensity we experience with it is not. Add to that the supernatural element of supernatural characters and you are concocting a recipe for one supernatural love story. That's all it is though, something unreachable, unattainable, and therefore A REALLY GREAT STORY because it stretches our imaginations. Many times we have heard: "Boy meets girl, they fell in love, got married, bought a house with a white picket fence, had ten children and lived happily ever after" and though it has it's sweet simplicity, it's nothing new for the mental pallet.

Good love story literature always involves passion with a problem. Elizabeth had to get over her pride to learn who Mr. Darcy really was and discover his love for her. Jane had to wait and work out the moral dilemma that Mr. Rodchester had an insane living wife. Juliet fought against the prejudice of her family against the man she loved. Here the problem, though I make it trite, is that he loves her and wants to eat her all at the same time! Stephanie has kicked it up a notch by adding supernatural elements as well in the appeal Edward has physically in his perfect form and, oh dear...dare I mention, sparkle. His battle against killing her is not as realistic to be sure, but it's still a fictitious problem keeping them from their love for one another.

I think what this really comes down to on point number three is this: Many authors write about love in the human world, the reality we know. Many write about it in the supernatural world or the fairy tale world (technically still supernatural) but Stephanie Meyer has done something that some of us are not willing to accept quite yet. She has brought the two worlds together. THAT is why it is unsettling to some,; it's real enough and yet not real enough. I can see why some are not comfortable with their realist toes being stepped on. Here is where I can only lead into what I shall make my final point.

WE HAVE TO GIVE FICTION IT'S PLACE. Frankly, I think this is one of the biggest problems with human psyche. I get so frustrated with Christians especially who are intimidated and appalled by supernatural literature be it Fairies or Vampires. I ask myself...what are you intimidated by? THEY DON'T EXIST. They act as if they were real living characters capable and certainly taking on good and evil characteristics and therefore try to see them through gospel judgements. YOU CAN'T JUDGE THEM WITH THEOLOGY BECAUSE THEY DON'T REALLY EXIST. You cannot say that Vampires are evil, because Vampires don't exist. They are evil in stories (until now...ha,ha,ha!) but they are not evil in reality because they do not exist in reality. I cannot scream this enough. These characters were created by fiction and have traditionally taken on evil characteristics, so therefore we commonly say "Vampires are evil" or "Werewolves are evil". We say this because fiction has defined them as such. Fiction defines it's own characters, and it has the freedom to REDEFINE them by way of the imagination of anyone at anytime in literary history. This is how you can have a good witch or a friendly ghost or ...a noble Vampire. Fiction has the freedom to say that there are good wizards and bad wizards, but in reality if someone is a practicing magic and calling themselves a witch or wizard, they are, according to scripture, evil. This is why we can love Tolkien's stories and not feel ashamed for loving Gandalf. If we put Gandal in reality (which frankly would just ruin my day entirely), we would have to sit down with him and have a good theology and repentance session. Yet, why do we not criticize him in our affections? Well, it has to be because fiction is the one place we can explore our imagination outside the bounds of reality. YET! We still admire or abhor some reflected qualities we see in fiction as they parallel our convictions in reality. This is where I say this post could go on, and on, and on. This is subject matter for a book, and one in which I am completely inadequate to write. Fiction has shadows of truth but does not play by the rules of truth. It is not required to line up notch by notch with what is theologically or rationally true. If it did, guess what, it would cease to be fiction. Christians need to stop trying to glean theology from fiction (or find their theology threatened by it) ,and un-believers need to get the Word of God off their mental fiction shelf! Both would be highly profitable. I personally have an intense passion for people recognizing the life-impacting difference between fiction and fact. To the point that we tell our children from the get-go that Santa is not real, he is fiction and that in reality he was a man who lived a long time ago and died a natural human death. I decided 12 years ago that anything I told my children about the world they knew would be the truth so they would NEVER, EVER slip on the slippery slope of doubting the Words of God or putting any of his biblical revelation on the fiction shelf of their minds. At the same time, I strongly defend the rights and privileges of fiction and what the imagination can explore there through it.

I said that was my final point but I feel there is one more much more awkward point to end with. If reading this saga, or any other romance story, caused one to lust and live in a fictitious world of fantasy about the opposite sex, then I would not read it. I would not recommend that my 11 year old daughter read Song of Songs at this stage of her maturity. I also won't let her read the last two books of Twilight. I do think it's funny though that Christians are so uncomfortable with the romantic marital content in the books , but there is far more marital sexuality in the bible itself. Where are the people lining up to cheer that Twilight actually presents two virgins getting married? When in our day and age do you see that anymore? Yes, there is the intensity of fighting with that desire and holding it off until marriage. We even have a male character taking the lead in the relationship to keep it that way! Shocking for our times. There is nothing more alluring about Edward than there is about Mr. Darcy or Mr. Rochester or any other manly figure of romantic interest in renowned literature. The supernatural element only makes him more appealing but so is Batman and Superman, and many other well known yet less criticized male sex symbols. Edward has the appeal that is not new to the female imagination. He is strong, protective and mysterious, but he is not the first. You could get way too wrapped up with any of them. If that is a weakness, I think it's good to be honest about it and stay away from things that feed your lust. I personally, though I admire Edward's manly qualities and do identify them as attractive, do not spend my reality moments pondering and wishing he existed and would walk into my room at night. If you do, then I'd suggest backing off. Mr. Rochester in Jane Eyre was my first adult male crush and I'm sure I thought about him a lot after reading the book when I was 15. Young girls are more apt to do this fantasizing in their growing-up years as they dream of the man they will someday love. I think parents should be really careful to only allow what their maturity can handle and not overfeed the already natural flow of their romantic imaginations. It all comes back to balance and knowing what escapes are a weakness for you. Escape itself is not a sinful thing. We escape in many ways. Men go fishing, women quilt or scrapbook. We watch movies and "veg-out" now and then; we even spend money on vacations, hobbies, and get-aways. We read fairy stories to our children and tales of lands and peoples that don't exist. We are not misguided to enjoy these escapes unless they cross over into influencing our function in reality or our perception of reality. The world is a tough place many times and I think our imagination and interests are a gift from God to have respite now and then. Enjoying them all the time or letting them cripple us in anyway practically or spiritually would be a problem. Essentially, if you stay in escape mode you become either an addict or obsessed. We have to take it back to the age old problem of what the Enemy tries to do, take something good and make it bad. That's why anything can be overdone just as it can be underdone and what is over and what is under is different for each of us according to our strengths and weaknesses. Sometimes reading a good love story or listening to a great love song can benefit your marriage because it reawakens that part of yourself that mundane life smothers out. You remember that you felt that passion for the one you love in your twitterpated years and should take a few sweet and strident passages back to that place now and then.

So, that is my Twilight soap box.

"Are You A Cool Mom?"

That's what a fourteen year old girl asked me yesterday and boy has it set me thinking.

When our children are little, they don't care if we are cool, we are the world to them. We are the mender of scrapes and aches, the soother of fevers, and the console of emotions. We are superior to cool. Then your child turns 11, or 12, or 13 and all of a sudden you have to earn your coolness to them. Or at least that is what THEY think. I've thought it out and realized this peer pressure from my own child aught to be put int the category it belongs...immaturity.

Dare I say that in homeschooling, you also can mostly avoid this challenging transition. You control their environment, their exposure to friends, EVERYTHING. But when your kids are in school they go through this phase where they are enchanted by what other people get to do and YOU become the ball and chain. It's CHALLENGING! But you know what! It's real life! Some may face it now, some later on, but definitely the coming Jr. High years are about to be my most challenging ever. If we don't go through it, I'm certain that it will show up in retarded timing later on in their lives. So, I guess I just have to strap my big girl boots on and walk on.

A mom of three nearly grown girls told me once that looking back she wished she had not tried to be her girls friend as much as their mom. I took that to heart and it's helping me here. That is my right, given by God toward them. I'm serious here! Do you think that I will go through the pain of birthing you (of which you will only know later on in life), the JOY of wiping your slimy bottom for a few years only to transition to cleaning up your pee mess on the floor now and then, the glorious job of patiently teaching you you are NOT the center of your own universe, the delight of loving you at every turn whether you deserved it or not, to be turned down at 11 because I have not EARNED you coolness standard? Uhhhh, I DON'T THINK SO!

So I've been sorting out in my head this anomaly of "coolness". What does it really mean to "be cool". Does it not at this age really mean I will let you do what ever you want, when you want, and on top of that like a little cherry on a sundae, I'll let you do whatever your friends want to do as well. Wow, it seems to me I've just defined one thing:

A REALLY BAD MOM!

When this gal asked me this last night, Victoria answered for me with a gesture of her thumb not up or down but in the middle and made a "ehhhhh" sound. In other words, I wasn't really. I have to admit, it hurt my feelings at first. So much so that I went home to sulk about it. Yes, I felt really immature when I did but you wait till YOU get there (unless you avoid this stage alltogether) and then talk to me about the way I felt! :) Then the Lord allowed something to happen to get me back on track and realize what my daughter really needed....GUIDANCE.

There is a boy in Victoria's class who has been on my heart since we put them into public school. He comes from a poor home with parents that are somewhat anarchist. They are also racists and being at a school full of Hispanics, that is not a great thing. His older brother is in the "community school" with it's own little two modular campus gated in at the back corner of the school property. He has been in so much trouble for being in fights with Hispanics. Louis however, the one in Victoria's class, is still a great kid. He has been effected by the things he is taught at home but he does not act out at anyone yet like his older brother. The kids have ostracized him and say he stinks or is dirty. Truthfully, he is a very loving kid, and trying hard to do well in school despite his lack of support at home from parents that don't agree with the requirement of the government that your kid be schooled at all.

I stood the other morning with the 6th grade class waiting for Victoria's teacher to get to the classroom to let them in. The kids line up in two lines but I noticed that one line was very long and one very short. I asked the kids why that was and they said (right where he could hear mind you) that it was because no one wanted to stand next to Louis. That crushed me. Children can be SO awful! I did not keep my tongue. I told them "well, that is just ridiculous!" and I went to stand by him and gave him a little side hug. He was very quiet. The whole class was watching me and hearing what I said and I wanted them to. I know he goes through this all the time. I happened to look up at my daughter who was smiling proudly at me. I knew she had felt bad for Louis for a long time and tries to be the one to be nice to him when she gets the opportunity. Her heart is convicted that the way he is treated is wrong.

But oh, the price we will pay for coolness......

This same 14 year old mentioned above was writing a note back and forth to Victoria last night that I happened to get my hands on though my daughter does not know it yet. She mentioned something she had to do this weekend that she did not like to which my daughters response was:

"Well, at least you don't have to sit by Louis (last name)"

The gal went on to respond that he was ugly, and his brother was a racist and all he had gotten in trouble for.

I was furious.

I would have pulled my daughter out of her cozy bed of reading last night when I finally discovered this and had a good talking to but she had fallen asleep. I discussed it with my husband and had time instead to process all this and I'm so thankful for that. God's good to slow me down.

My daughter looks up to this 14 year old and she knew she had a one way ticket to "coolness" by saying this derogatory statement about Louis. She took it. She cashed it in, and it worked. I KNOW this is not what she really thinks about Louis or how to treat him, but she was willing to trade in her character for cool.

And THAT is what it really comes down to isn't it!? Trading our character in for "cool". Is it worth the price we pay? Never.

So, you can imagine, my husband and I have a very teachable moment to grasp with our daughter this evening but I came here to share what it taught me.

"Coolness" is a versatile thing. It is defined by the one who defines it. There is no set in stone definition of cool. There is what one person thinks is cool, what one group, what one society, what one decade thinks. It forever changes. We have to be careful how we define it and the fact is, it will look a little different to all of us but there is one certainty....

God defines what's cool with Him, and what's not. That is the one thing that does not change.

This lesson is just rich with layers of life lessons for my child. She may never hear the end of it:)

For me, I had to remember whether I was defining "cool mom" from the perspective of an 11 or 14 year old, or from God's perspective. A really bad mom is not cool, but kids this age don't have the maturity to see that so we have to check ourselves by a different definition and realize the depravity of theirs. I was grateful for this reality check as to how fickle my immature child and this gal really are still. They need to be guided, they need to be guarded, and they need to be told "no" often. They need to be held back, away and from so many things and that is not going to look "cool" to them.

I do believe that what they need to see is a mom that when their maturity catches up with them, they will look back and see clearly. Being a mom they would think "cool" now, would later look flippant, unconcerned, and week to them later on.

My conclusion? If my child ALWAYS thought I was cool, I'd be in trouble. If she NEVER thought I was cool, that would be sad (because some of their definitions of "cool" are valid). My daughter gave me an in-the-middle "ehhh", and I realized that's exactly where I should be!

SO, that's cool with me.

*NOTE*

A dear friend of mine who homeschools has enlightened me. She was not able to get comments to work but wanted to say that she had the same problem at this age with her kids and their social homeschool group. Also, that there were social problems of unkindness there as well.

I thought that was important to add here. So, the desire for coolness must transcend schooling options. :)

I have since fixed the controls on the comment so that anyone can comment even without a google account. FYI