Tackle It Tuesday: The Climb

I joined TOPS this time last year. Has it helped me? Yes. I have lost 10 lbs and flirted with a few more pounds that have bounced back way too many times. Still I have to remember that going keeps me from overall gaining. Ever time I get going something happens in life to halt me. I'm sure that happens to everyone though. The surgery has really set me back again and although the nausea and appetite loss helps me at times, the estrogen patch is fighting against me and I can really tell. So, I have to get serious or I'll be in trouble soon. Time to get back climbing.

I told my friend Trish who is in TOPS with me, that we should come up with a few simple goals and hold each other accountable. I tend to go overboard on goals and bury myself in disappointment when I cannot possibly reach them. So, I'm going to start with three and go from there.

1. Breakfast: I don't enjoy breakfast and if I do it's usually carbs that I like. I kind of gag at the thought of eggs in the morning (and I have since I was a kid really). So, for a while I don't want to have to think about it at all. I purchased a big tub of Soy Protein at Trader Joe's and have tons of frozen fruit in the freezer i need to use up. I'm just going to use that and a little yogurt for morning smoothies. Thankfully the weather is warming up!


2. Walk: The most important thing I can do is get more walking. I really wanted to be running a 5k by now but I'll have to be patient and build back up now. My goal is 20-30 min 6 days a week.


3. Evening Eating: I'm making a goal to only have herbal tea or water after 7pm except for one night a week (Monday's when I go to TOPS and don't eat until I get home).

It's hard to believe I only have about 20 lb to the top end of my healthy weight. The last 20 are so hard and I know they are going to take sheer warfare! I'm praying my hormones don't get in my way too much either. I'm drinking lots of ginseng, decaf green, and tension taming herbal teas to help with all that.

Every time I come back to this goal I am encouraged by this song. It reminds me of many good things. It's a good walking warm up song too. Though it's a cute little teen song, it's got a lot of truth to it. There is always going to be a struggle, a goal, a battle. Thinking that getting through one will make everything in life good is not true but that doesn't mean it's not important.

Menu Mondays: Mexico's Gift To America- Pozole

(the above is a chicken pozole with very little meat, not how I usually make it)

We moved to this small California town nearly 5 years ago. It's heavy with Mexican culture. The majority of the kids in my children's classes are first generation. Though I have my political opinions on the massive flood of immigration into this state and how it's really bleeding us dry, there are many things I've learned about this culture from living here and having our kids in school. Many of the families we know are hard working people really doing their part to become part of the American society while still respecting their heritage. More than anything, Taco Bell becomes a cheap (literally) joke when you get to taste some of their authentic cooking.

Last year, Princess was in her first year of public school transitioned from homeshooling. She was in 5th grade and Rick and I tried to be as involved as we could. Her teacher did a few holiday occasions by having a lunch pot luck in the classroom. Since most of the families were Hispanic, the foods were as well. This was how I came to have my first bowl of Pozole. Pozole is kind of a sister to the Menudo soup but I'm not into eating tripe (in fact, I find it funny that many times cooked tripe is pictured with beer or other alcohol and yep, that's what it would take for me to eat it, way more than I'm willing to drink) so I prefer this one.

It was rustic, brothy and OH, so tasty.

(next segment is read at your own risk...)

Historically Pozole has a very pagan and disgusting origin. It was a soup made for special ceremonial occasions that took place after human sacrifices. It's 2 main ingredients were corn (more specifically hominy), which was sacred to the ancient Mexicans since they believed the gods made man out of cornmeal (sounds stupid but I'm not sure monkeys sounds any better..lol), and ....ew..cover your ears....human. Yep, from the sacrafices. Please don't let that gross you out to continue.

Once cannibalism was outlawed, pork took it's place because...well, I won't tell you why, it may just be too much. You can also use chicken or turkey. In more recent (barely) history, Pozole was mentioned by Bernardino de Sahagún, a 16th century Spanish Missionary to the Aztec people.

Ironically what started out as a special occasion dish has become the pot of soup for the everyday family. It's ingredients vary according to region. Just like grandma's chicken soup in America, everyone does it differently. I'll give you my version. Play around with some others if you like, I'm sure they are all good.

Mrs. Oz Pozole

1 Pork Shoulder or Butt

1 30 oz. can Hominy

1 Head of Cabbage

1 Large white onion

3-5 cloves fresh garlic

2-4 Limes + lime juice to taste

1 Tbs. cumin

1/2 cup red chili sauce (a spicy enchilada sauce will do)

1/2 bunch of Cilantro (if you don't like cilantro one, I feel sorry for you, but two, you can use a few small cans of green chilies)

Half a stock pot of water (I don't measure water...you'll have to eye ball that one)

Salt and Pepper to taste

Pig's foot (optional)

Place pork (and pork foot should you want to use) in stock pot and cover with water till pot is at least half full. For a low fat soup, you can cook the pork till it's falling apart and refrigerate the broth. Later you can skim off the fat and continue the soup from there. Otherwise....

Remove tender pork to a large platter or bowl. Discard any bones or fat (and foot if you used it)and return meat pieces to the broth after they are separated into bite size pieces. Put on high heat and chop onion, garlic and cabbage. Add to pot followed by seasonings and red chili sauce. Drain can of hominy and add to pot. Half two limes and squeeze juice into broth (many recipes use lemon juice and serve the soup with a wedge of lime, I prefer just using lime because of it's Mexican flavor) and drop halves right into the pot for about half an hour to release lime flavor into the broth. You can skip this if it's too much for you, I came up with this myself because I love the depth of flavor it adds to the soup. Just remove the halves after they have simmered in there a while.

Cook until cabbage is tender. Chop half head of cilantro and add to soup. Taste to see if you need more lime juice (you want a bit of a tangy broth but taste to your liking) or salt and pepper.

Serve in bowls with a wedge of lime for squeezing and either corn bread or warm tortillas with butter. Pozole is great made the day ahead and then reheated. It's also great with quesadilla wedges.

Hope you enjoyed your little history lesson but try to forget it when you eat the soup. :)

I'm very exited about my next adventure. I seem to be on a soup theme without meaning to. I've been very interested about the traditional soup of Vietnam called pho (sounds like "foe"). It sounds very unique and I'm hoping to share about it next week or the week after depending on how life goes.

Whatever Wednesdays: The Evolution of Marriage

In more than just a few days Rick and I will be celebrating 13 years of marriage. We started dating Nov. 7, 1995 and the first day I saw him was somewhere around Oct. 20th of that same year. It didn't take long even though I was really not wanting to be in a relationship at the time. Actually, the emotional and I believe, providential aspects of our meeting make those weeks between meeting and dating seem so long to me in my memory. I'm always shocked when I think back to the actual timeline because it was so short! Even after we started dating I freaked out (because honestly, he seemed too good to be true and any of you who have met Rick know that his friendliness is not the norm of today) and we backed off for two weeks. Then, he came home with me on that Thanksgiving to meet my family. It didn't help my resolve against him when my dad absolutely loved him, and my brother even more. My brother has cerebral palsy and Rick grew up with a disabled sister who has since gone to be with the Lord. My brother connected to Rick right away because Rick knew how to connect to him and made him feel like he really wanted to be his friend. I will never forget sitting in the swing hung up in the big oak tree behind my parents house, looking out at the vineyard and skyline across the street and just listening to him converse on whatever thinking in my mind "this is the man I'm going to marry". It was as if part of me was telling the other, more sceptical part of me, how it was gunna be. Well, that part was right and has sustained me still even when the sceptic in me debates.

I just broke all my own rules with Rick. Well, I should blame it on that optimistic side of me anyway! LOL! I had made two rules for myself prior to meeting Rick. I would not be the first to say "I love you", and when I did I wanted to say something more like "you are the one I want to learn to love". (No, in my relationship revolution, I did not resolve to not kiss until my wedding. May I just side tangent for a moment on this one?! I find it the most rediculious of concervative Christian practices. Every couple should have their first kiss as THEIR moment. If it's awkward, they don't care. There is no one looking on to see how perfect it is going to be. Plus, it's your first one! It should be yours alone. The first kisses I've seen at weddings, I've felt so bad for the couple and they are all EXTREMELY awkward. SO, NO, I won't be advising my children to this. If you want to wait, good, have a special date for the day before the wedding at least to have your moment. If you feel you need your parents right outside the door to confirm that was all you did ....fine. Please people! Anyway....sorry for that soapbox interlude.) It's true, I'd had some real growing experiences on how easy it was to fall in love and then have it not work out. I had come to realize the vulnerability of infatuation. I knew that the one I married would need to be a choice and that love would have to be learned more than anything. Still, my resolve went out the window. Not only did I tell him before he told me, I indeed stated "I love you". It was all good though. We were driving on a country road and just like the feeling I got on the swing a month or more before, I knew I could be content driving just about anywhere with this man and it overwhelmed me. So, in the quiet of the drive I made my declaration. I remember my stomach exploded in butterflies and I was a little mad at myself but he pulled the car over to make sure he could give me all his attention and told me he loved me too. I was days past turning 19, and he had just turned 25.

Yesterday I was at the grocery store grabbing a few things and there was an older couple ahead of me. The wife was bagging the groceries (ha, now you know where I shop) while the old gentleman stood at the atm machine waiting for the total. I started to clue in with some things he was saying, that his memory was fading and he was stepping on uncertain waters of Alzheimers perhaps. Jovial as could be though he waited patiently and then got a little concerned and asked the cashier "is that all still my stuff?". He seemed to have forgotten what he was buying and was worried he was paying for someone else's items. She gave him the total and he paid. A few seconds later as she is running the machine and waiting for the receipt he says "Do you have my card?". "No, sir, I just gave it to you", she replied. All this time the wife is not even looking up, she is bagging those groceries and leaving Mr.Jovial to fend for himself.

It was refreshing for me to see. Lately I've been at the store and noticed way to many very elderly couples lashing out at each other. Sometimes you can hear them before you can see them. "Well, I don't know, you tell me!?" I heard one day and was alerted to an old couple in the isles looking like they were going to kill each other over some trivial decision about pillows. Another time I came around the corner to hear an elderly wife just raking her old, most likely forgetful, husband for leaving his wallet at home. "You mean I came all the way out here!" Still another time I overheard a very domineering elderly husband grouching at his wife while shopping. Each time I remember thinking how miserable they seemed. Letting patterns of selfishness and sinful communication become part of their hardrives had taken over any grace for the failing years together. All I could think was that I didn't want to be that way.

With my health issues lately I have been more than ever blessed by my husbands love for me. He is no angel, (and he is not married to one) but he does all he can to love and care for me and be patient in uncertainty. It's made me realize that there are only more of those days to come in our future. Life becomes more and more about loving by choice and less and less about waiting to love when the mood hits ya. If adversity quenches love, love is doomed!

The couple at the grocery store, though I did not see them long, and I'm sure they gripe with each other at times, seemed to have learned how to flow. She did not nitpick at him, nor did she baby him or pay too much attention to his forgetful ways of handling things. She just did what she could and let him handle the rest whether he did it right or not. He didn't get grumpy with her with his little disorientations or ask her snippy demeaning questions, and he did not demand that she get up there and take care of things. There was a quiet acknowledgement of failing minds and bodies but a contentment to let it happen. More than that, there was a sense of knowing each other well and being okay with who they were.

My mom use to tell me the story of my great grandma cussing after her stroke. My mom told me not to use bad language for many reasons but one being that it will go into your default hardrive when you are older. My great grandma had a small habit of saying "shit" when things went wrong. Unfortunately for her though, after her stroke, her brain no longer controlled when she said it anymore. Mom says she would just blurt it out often and out of context. She told me then that we have to program edifying things in our minds for the reason of old age as well.

So, lately I've been thinking that that applies to an aging marriage as well. The patters you set will be the patterns you perform, even without thinking, later on in your old age. With my dad suddenly passing away at 54, I will consider myself blessed indeed to get to grow old with my husband. I've been reminded that this is not a guarantee. So many people today don't make it anywhere near the beauty of this evolving stage of marriage. They don't get to see the beauty of each stage as it comes with it's pain and beauty. They don't get to touch a depth that is there to be had with commitment. They base relationships on what will always, and without fail, fade away. Yet, even those of us who are committed should build strong blocks for our futures, Lord willing, together. Those little ticks that annoy us could be more overlooked with grace. Lately I've been literally stopping myself during these and telling myself "if he was no longer here, I would be missing this" or "this is an important aspect of HIS personality, it's not mine, it's his, and I shouldn't let it bug me". Many of these things are patterns I develop now in my response systems, reaction habits and more.

There are many unglamorous aspects about aging that will make it unavoidably unpleasant in many ways. Yet, what a great sadness to have on the heels of those unavoidables, the damage of bitterness and baggage. More than that, how lonely to travel that road alone or with one you don't really know. To have walked a journey together, evolving, changing, deepening, and growing in grace will be one of the greatest gifts we can give each other when everything else really stops working well. To be there for each other, the closest of friends, knowing each other so well and accepting each other even more, will be the magic of old age. It won't come on it's own though. In fact, I think, like a garden neglected, it will indeed digress on it's own and neither of us will have the mental or physical strength to clean it out by then. The work for such beauty starts now, keeping it simple but keeping it lovely. All washed over in grace, undeserved, but received from Christ and not kept, but poured out on the one we love.

Thankful Thursday

It's been a rough week. I won't lie. Monday was a very tough day of hormone problems. Mostly in the panic feelings. I could best describe this as somewhat of a mental claustrophobia. Once again, it comes on for no reason and usually when I'm either just mentally sorting through something (like "okay, I did this and now I need to do that" or "what was that I was supposed to remember at the store?") or when I'm trying to focus on something or someone talking. Even my eyes seem unable to focus well at these times. I can just be looking at someone and trying to hear them and in my mind I'll start to panic and then try to talk myself down from the panic feelings and still try to listen to what they are saying. The other big symptom is that I will get really truly hungry but when I go to eat, within a few bites I start to loose my appetite. This one I don't understand. Monday I fought these off every few minutes all day. Tuesday the nausea hit, as I predicted since that seems to be the pattern. I got in to see my OB. She is putting me on the estrogen all month instead of just two weeks out of the month as it seems these symptoms are pretty much gone while I'm on the patch and it starts getting in my system. She gave me an anti-anxiety to use if there are days it's really bad. She thinks that the patch will level me out enough that I won't need them though. I sure hope so.
I've also just been put on an antibiotic as I developed bronchitis. I've not been sleeping well with tons of coughing. Hopefully the antibiotic will kick it in the bottom for me. I so look forward to feeling better.
In the midst of all this...there is thanks.

• I am thankful to be reminded that I am indeed quite mortal. This reminds me every day of my need for my Savior. When hormones make you feel you are mentally going crazy, all you can do is lean on God's care for you by what ever means he wants to use be it prayer, helpful hands, medicine, whatever. I've been very nervous with which meds and methods are best and I've really had to trust God in this too and that is good for me.
• For kids and a husband who are very capable of navigating life when I'm kinda down. It may not be perfect, and it may not be the way I would do it, but they are doing well at it.
• For my mom, who is praying for me and helping me be brave.
• For times when I feel good and truly can appreciate feeling good.
• For the blessing of every day haven making. Though I've had little energy for it lately, it's been a pleasant work for me to make home life run smoothly.
• For a patient boss who is so nice to navigate these health obstacles with me.
• For the fact that Superkid is doing better this week in school and having a more positive attitude about it all. I'm thankful we have been able to work with him on his heart issues.
• For comforters on clearance for the girls new room decor.
• For the promise that God will see me through anything and that he will see my family through it as well. That he is not only getting us through but he is working it for our good and His glory. It makes one more grateful to go through stuff looking at it that way.

Have a lovely Thursday of gratitude for all God allows you to do and for His wisdom in what he does not allow.

Menu Monday: Way Too Easy St. Patty's Day Dinner

I love holidays and many of them for food reasons, but I don't think I crave any holiday dinner like I do St. Patrick's Day fare. Turkey and sides are good but not my fav, a gorgeous ham is great but a finely cooked plate of corned beef and cabbage with a nice glass of Irish Beer is delish beyond words. The SADDEST thing ever is that some people hate it. I declare to you....if you hate it, you made it wrong! There is no way to hate this meal when it's done right. Still, it is an easy one to screw up royally and I have. I want to save you from that and take ALL the stress out of the process because I have found it one of the easiest dishes to make. WAY easier than Christmas or Thanksgiving dinner.

The fact is, corned beef on it's own is easy to get wrong, and cabbage on it's own is easy to get wrong. You don't want a tough meat, and you don't want soggy cabbage. Trust me, you're kids will learn to hate this meal if it comes out that way. I found a secret that allowed perfection ever time and my kids beg for more cabbage when it's done this way! All you need are two crock pots!

Many corned beef pkgs come with oven instructions....well, ignore them. Many call for boiling the meat which just KILLS me! Do you know what happens when you boil meat? All the flavor leaves and goes out into the water and unless you plan to make St.Patty's day SOUP, this is insane. All that briny goodness is going to be put to work to make your cabbage the best you have ever had, and you don't want to waste it! Boiled cabbage is just as gross so just throw that idea out the window as far as I'm recommending. The one time I followed their advice for the oven, I had tough meat that would not cut and no one wanted. If you have done it with success, please post your comment and suggestions and I may try again someday but my method is a "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" for me. Also, it is so easy it could make you cry.

I use a very large crock pot for the meat and cabbage. I'm not sure the size, but this is the one I use:

I either use one large brisket or two small ones. Just put them from the package into the crock pot in the morning (around 8 am should do). SET ASIDE the seasoning pkg for a moment though that comes with the brisket.

Take one to two cabbages depending on size (remember, they shrink so use as much as your pot will hold..sometimes I put a heavy item on my crock lid if it's a tiny bit lifted from the cabbage to squish it down until it softens and falls...but don't leave a space or it won't cook right). Wash the cabbage and cut it in half lengthwise. Cut out the core at the bottom but only the core. Now cut each half in thirds or quarter large wedges depending on the size of the head. Take a moment to sprinkle half of the seasoning pkg on the meat. Simply keep wedges whole (separating them makes them cook too soon and the pieces fall down into the broth getting ...yep..soggy) and arrange tightly on top of the meat. Sprinkle remaining seasoning pkg. Don't add salt, or pepper or anything else! NO WATER! PLEASE....NO WATER!

Put the lid on and set on high for about a half an hour if you can and then set to low. If you are leaving just set to low. Around dinner time you should have perfectly falling apart corned beef and soft but textured and VERY flavorful cabbage. More on removing and serving below.

The potatoes should be small and red ones. Wash and half only if they are a bit large. If they are small, just leave them whole. I use my regular size crock pot for this. Mine is the blue one pictured here with the crock pot lady who btw has an great website I have down in my left hand links.

(I believe the ME one I have is comparable to the large one on the right so that gives you an idea...I'm sorry I don't have measurements for you!)

Just clean the potatoes and put them in with a pat of butter and a sprinkle of parsley if you like. Put on low and they will be perfect by dinner.

The soda bread has been my only problem. Last year I made a recipe that was more of a sweet bread and although it was good, I really wanted more authentic fare this time. I will be trying the traditional southern Ireland cake version demonstrated well here. The page also has a fun history of soda bread that you can read over or share with your kids. They usually like that kind of stuff and it makes the holiday a full adventure.

Serving the corned beef and cabbage I have a particular method that gives fuller flavor to the dish. About half an hour to an hour (depending on how well cooked your cabbage is) before serving open the crock pot and switch the order of the meat and cabbage. Just take the brisket out and let the cabbage fall down in the juices. Replace the brisket on top of the cabbage and put the lid back on. Again, don't do this long if your cabbage is pretty soft all ready. When you serve place the brisket on a platter and slice into portions. You can either surround it with the cabbage wedges and drizzle with the juices, or you can serve the cabbage in a bowl (my preference) and pour a great deal of the juices over them so they stay warm and still season at the table. The potatoes are pretty easy, just take them out and serve!

Top this off with a nice Guinness for you and the hubby and enjoy! If you like you can finish off with an authentic Irish dessert (suggestionshere (that Guinness cake looks good..mmm...or here) or just some green jello or ice cream. If you can manage an Irish cream coffee, that would be a great ending as well. Of course, put on some great Celtic sounds! Pandora is great for this and you can just start with Celtic Woman to get your station going.

We always finish off St.Patrick's Day with the reading of his story and watching the Veggie Tales short on St.Patrick found on the Sumo Of the Opera DVD. It's important, just like with the real St.Nicolas, for kids to know the heart and sacrifices these men made for the love of Christ. I believe Focus On the Family may even have a radio drama for St.Patrick. I'll have to confirm that but you may want to check out their website.

I get a special treat this year because Rick is off St. Patty's day! I'm looking forward to it and I'm planing on having the girls help me with the bread so they can learn.

Saturday Scraps: Family Newsie Stuff

Isn't my title eloquent?



Mmmm....news...what's the news.....well, God is good and life is crazy, but you probably came by for more than that so....



Basketball is Over:(

Though Princess is a bit relieved I'm sad it's over. It was fun to see her push her lack of athleticism and have a chipper sense of humor after her practices surged her body with lovely endorphins. It taught me, a mommy of tween, soon to be teen, a lesson....make sure they get exercise. In fact, I decided if I see it in her that noticeably, I should be convicted to do it myself! It was fun to go to the games and hear Rick yelling out of excitement to be back in some form of sports arena again. Though at the time I confess, I may have begged him not to yell so loud. I was worried the coach would think he was trying to take over his position from the bleachers. It was fun to see her in uniform and get out there and give it a try. Coordination has never been her strong suit but she really got better as she practiced. She learned a lot of lessons I've written about in previous posts concerning doing it because you love it and not because the other girls tell you you are bad or awesome.


Superkid's Life Lessons

Well, you can probably tell, we are not against boys playing with toy guns at our house. This is Superkid and his neighbor friend who is also in his class at school. They play many afternoons.

Superkid is in a time of great stretching in his life. He has never been a big fan of going to school but right now he is really not liking it. Having been former homeschoolers we are very sensitive to watching for signs for God to tell us to stay or to bring one or any of them back home. His will is always working and we want to be sensitive to it. In fact, I read a Focus On The Family article once that I totally dissagreed with. It was saying that parents should consider well which option is for their family but to stick to one and be consistant. I don't think that is so. I think every year, and every child and sometimes every month in the year has be be handled with prayer for direction. So, I have been talking more with his teacher, and talking more with him, and being in the classroom. He just is in a severely apathetic mode about school work at all. He is struggling with it with his homework so it does not seem to be confined to the classroom. It really could be summed up in a stage of the severe "I don't wann's". He tells his teacher he is bored. Being that academically he is at the top of his class, this may very well be true but when he does his work he has been doing it sloppy on purpose and taking his time on purpose and not focusing on doing the work when the teacher is walking around helping others. It's really just a disobedient phase of the heart. He also decided recently that the items at "store" time (when they get to spend the points they earn each week) are not worth his trouble (he asked me if the teacher could give them real money so they could go buy something they really wanted....ha! I don't think the world works that way dear!) so he stopped trying to earn them. So, we had a talk about doing things right as unto the Lord and not for any earthly reward. It makes me thankful, thought it's challenging, when school brings up these heart issues that we have to deal with because I know the Lord is working in his heart. We could just as easily have the same problem at home with him deciding that was boring and not wanting to do his work for me either. Right now he has a fantasy idea of homeschooling and thinks it means getting to watch more movies and rest during the day, or play with his Lego's all day long. By this point in my parenting I have a better incite into this "grass is always greener" element and am not as easily swayed to make quick decisions by it.

So, half of it is his heart issues, but the other half is the decline of the public schools, plain and simple, especially when it comes to the early grades. In fact, Rick and I were talking that if we had any more kids younger, we don't know how they would survive, boys especially, in the classroom. It's not really the fault of our particular school but state legislators are to blame. The classroom sizes are crazy big, again, especially for this age. Last year Superkid's teacher had 15 or so kids, and this year there are 28-29. Next year she said they are projecting 30. Now, you can run a class of 4th, 5th or 6th graders at that number, but I don't believe in doing that for the young ones. I can attest, being the one to go in and give the assessments, that 2/3 of the class cannot read yet. The teacher is doing all she can but she is up against the obstacle of not enough resources, time, and one-on-one opportunities. Not to mention a plethora of parents who don't care and children who come from challenging circumstances such as exposure to drugs in uturo, fetal alcohol, and homes where reading to your kids just does not happen. With the class size that big, and the obstacles, THEN you have the state mandating what all to cram down their little throats in the time you have. There is not time for art or music or hands on learning, though I know some teachers at our school say fooie to the state because frankly, they are near retirement anyway and don't believe in the new philosophy of education. They (the state) don't realize they are drowning themselves because by pushing more, the kids are getting less. Especially at these ages when their brains are developing on many different levels and their information and learning are gleaned in many different ways. A kindergartner, 1st or 2nd grader does not learn efficiently by sitting in a desk for 6 hours and having you cram stuff into him all day by lecture, pen and paper. His brain just will block off 75% or so of what you dish out. Then, you move on, because the state tells you you have to and little Johnny didn't get what you last did so he is not anywhere able to get the next step. They end up floating around a early 1st grade level until their brains naturally catch up by means of every day life and experience really. The sad thing, is that once their brains wake up to some things, many important academic building blocks are missing for their further education and they end up either always being behind, or having to learn to wing it most of the time.

Where Superkid sits in his development is the only thing that keeps us from yanking right now, well, that and God's directing us. He gets the academics very well. He just needs more creative time. If he lacked in the academics I would have no choice but to bring him back home because he would NOT be getting the education he needed. Even the sweet Christian teachers that we love have their hands so tied (unless they are rebels at heart enough to not care like I said before). They are working with a near impossible set of circumstances.

So, we have been praying about this and right now we feel he should stay. Mainly because the lessons HE is needing to learn are in the area of listening to directions and being diligent in his school work. The scale is near tipping though and if it were not two months till the end of the school year, I may feel differently. I will not criticize parents who put their boys on meds because that is a personal decision but Rick and I agreed when we went home to public, that if he ever got to that "oh, he's ADD" point, and it effected his education, he would come home. Superkid is at that point (as it would be defined medically, but we happen to think it's more the way God created boys) but he is a reclusive ADD (if we were going to label, which we aren't), meaning that he sits there but zones out and goes far away in his imagination. He is not very loud or disobedient by bugging others or getting out of his seat or anything. So it becomes a question of time. Will he make it to the end of the year? We feel he should. We on the other hand are focusing on some character building and making sure he gets some creative time at home and outside time as well. It's really quite sad the schools are headed this way because it makes it hard for many mom's like me, who are not feeling God has called them to homeschool at the time, or don't do well balancing it with the rest of their responsibilities. Right now we are having to trust that God has a purpose for him to learn some things even though the situation is not ideal. The same could be said of homeschooling. There are always pro's and con's so all you can really do is let the Lord lead.

We really want to hold out for next year because he would have the teacher Lilo had that we really loved. She is one who is brave enough to do what she thinks is good for the kids in her classroom and not what is good for the state. They make fossils, build art projects, grow butterfly gardens and watch them metamorphosis there, and get up and sing songs and dance around many times in the day. After that, well....one year at a time, one prayer at a time!

Oh! I did want to mention the other thing that happened that the Lord used to show us he is where he needs to be right now. Superkid was playing four square with his friends and he did not really know how to play. He bounced the ball too many times and the kids told him he was out. He felt they should let him stay because he did not know the rules, and he was upset they told him he was out. His eyes filled with tears and his face scrunched up when he told us this. Now, at home Superkid is not only the only boy, he is the baby, and for many years he has been catered to in ways we don't even realize (yes, probably mostly by me), so my first reaction that I immediately knew I had to fight off, was to agree with him! BUT, this is one way school is good for him! He is learning that life does not bend the rules to make you feel better about yourself. You WILL get out sometimes. It's time to grow up a bit and be okay with that. So, we got a ball and his sisters got outside with him at home teaching him how to play. That way at least he can get with the game. Yet, the real lesson here was a social one that he really needed.

Wow, I kind of took up my Saturday Scraps with Superkid! And, I'm kind of out of time to blog so I guess that will have to be it for today! Have a blessed Saturday!

Coming this week (Lord willing and health/time permitting:):

• My easy way to lovely Corned beef and cabbage- gotta love St.Patty's day!
• Putting together the girls new decor in their room- I'm hoping for pics.

I Need Help!

Many of you know we painted the girls room a gorgeous (well, I think so) violet blue about two years ago or so. It's pretty close to the color in the bottom left corner of this:

My original inspiration was this magazine cover that I loved:

Here is what we ended up with in 07 (though it's a dark picture, the wall color is much brighter):With their white old french provincial furniture and lavender and white bedding it was beautiful. Now there are some changes taking place that are leading us from the Victorian shabby version of this to the bold tween version of it.

1. Princess has a college style loft bed now. Our goal was to eventually get them both on lofts so that they could have something like "their own room". Her loft has a built in huge desk and shelf and we have storage shelves and drawers under it for her stuff. Lilo will be getting one next (I'm crossing my fingers for a 50 dollar white one on Craigslist right now. The problem with loft beds is the bedding. You really don't want to have to have complicated bedding to make. The easiest way to do this is to have a bottom sheet, no top sheet, and a comforter with a duvet. That way you just wash the bottom sheet and the duvet. That is what I need help with.

The duvets need to match. They need to have a bold floral pattern that has bold Easter like colors in them. I don't really want to buy them, I would prefer to make them from sheet sets. Fabric is harder because you have to have seam lines since the fabric is not wide enough (unless someone can educate me on a trick I don't know). Here are some images to get your brain where mine is headed:

Zero in on the floral.

Think....gerber daisy....

I may need it to have some gold in it too.....

2. We picked up some clearance curtain panels at Walmart for 2 bucks! They were a great deal seeing that you got two panels for that price. I was thinking of putting a fabric flower at each segment at the top to dress them up a bit. They go to the floor so they are dramatic. One of my quandaries is whether I can go with the bold yellow or if I should die them. Any opinions? They look pretty good next to the violet blue but they do set the tone for some wild fabric bedding and accessories!

3. The girls are going into different modes of life. Well, especially Princess. How I want the room is fading into how THEY want the room. Magazine clippings, CD's, projects and Taylor Lautner posters (well, one, yes my daughter is a Twilight fan...so you can start shooting at me now :). Lilo, though not in this phase yet (in fact she has never been in the boy admiring phase, she is more into bugs still) has always preferred bold and crazy over subdued and girlie. So, it will work for both of them. I guess you could say the wall, and the fabrics are all I'm doing and then I'm letting them loose as long as it's neat!

It's a phase I thought would take a while to get to...but nope.

So, help me out! I need suggestions. Let me know if you see anything around or online too.

Thankful Thursday

It's been a trying week but I'm thankful God is totally in control because it really does matter, you know!

• I'm thankful to be feeling better. I've not had bad weird symptoms for a week and a half and that's great. I'm thankful it's all helping me make better choices with my health.


• I'm thankful for seeing God work in my children. Even when problems surface and we have to deal with them, it's evidence of him working in their hearts and that's good to know.


• I'm thankful for sunshine.


• I'm thankful my husband always tries to do what is best for us.


• I'm thankful for good meat sales lately:).


• I'm thankful I got to go to a movie with the kids yesterday, we don't get to do that more than a few times a year. It was a great spontaneous way to spend the afternoon because of minimum day.


• I'm thankful God is faithful to lead us when we are not sure where we should go. Even when I feel I'm standing still, he is working to lead.


• I'm so thankful my mom's new job seems to be going well and that God has provided for her in this way.


• I'm thankful my life is pretty simple.

Just An Update

Thought I'd come by and just update how things are going after the events of the past few weeks. To catch up on what transpired before, you can read here.

As far as the surgery goes, I'm just now starting to not hurt, so that's a good thing. Regarding the symptoms of nausea, faintness and anxiety type attacks (adrenaline rushes I call them), they were really non existent after about a week. Then, it came time for my body to ovulate and the first problem was that my body chose to do that out of the affected ovary. So, pain, pain, pain again. I was okay with that though, I prefer pain over the other symptoms which are more psychologically painful.

The day after this we went to church. I struggled with lack of appetite, some dizziness and weakness but I took almonds to munch on and by the end of the service I was feeling normal. Then, Monday came and Rick was off. I had no reason logically to feel stressed at all and yet the anxiety adrenaline pulsed through my body on and off most of the day until evening. Tuesday I woke up and was shaky and nauseated and faint feeling again. I was trying to make myself eat almonds and drink juice while I struggled just getting through getting the kids ready and making their lunches. I laid down a few times but it was not helping. I was supposed to drive a way to my doctor that morning and it was raining so I made the decision to call Rick home because I was worried I would not make the drive myself very well. In about an hour I was feeling better but he did go down with me.

My doctor was very patient in asking questions and trying to pin point what my specific problem was. She said it sounds like between ovulation and the end of my period I'm in a very unbalanced PMS phase. Evidently this whole phase of the cycle is PMS related. She said there was no good way to know if I was low on estrogen or progesterone due to the cyst messing up my hormones. The only way to proceed was really by trial and error. We start with one and if my symptoms get worse, we know it's the other one. You can imagine my fear of them getting worse, I was feeling like this was a game of Russian roulette with my body. She said that usually the lack is in estrogen and we would start there with the lowest dose patch. The other must do was that I get more calcium. Little did I know that calcium works as a messenger from the brain to the hormones and if you are not getting it in the right amount, your hormones won't balance properly.

It would also seem that my body is under some response to stress even though I myself mentally and spiritually don't feel stressed. I don't feel anxious about anything in my life (except now these attacks of anxiety...which is frustratingly ironic to only have anxiety about having anxiety) but my body seems to be. So, if this is not enough, we may have to try a low antidepressant for a while until my hormones get my emotional and mental stability back on track. Right now, I'm hoping the hormone patch and my concentration on healthy eating will make the difference. It's amazing what an earthquake to you body just a cyst can be.

The last few years of my life have been very stressful but it's funny because if you ask me, I'd truly say and mean it that I'm okay. My personality is to push on and keep going but it would seem that my physical self has born the brunt of the stress.

Thankfully Rick has a good job and now that my doctor has documented these problems medically he can always take emergency leave if the flare ups make me unable to function. I cannot tell you how grateful I am in every normal moment. Whenever I feel okay, I try to give thanks. There is no appreciating normal until you get sick. I keep telling the Lord I need his strength and healing because I want to be able to just do the every day things to take care of those I love. I have a 12 year old daughter about to start an even more intense time in her own hormones, I really need to be on track myself. When it gets bad I don't deal very well with anything above survival and a dramatic tween is not easy to face in these times. It is causing me to cry out to God and lean on him for my every breath.

I cannot deny that I really long for it to be over though. As my doctor says, "welcome to the 30's dear."

Since starting the patch yesterday afternoon I have been a bit better. Last night I felt very emotionally PMSing in my lack of stamina for a stressful situation between Princess and I (again, the biggest challenge on my stress level right now). The biggest part still hanging on is the nausea or just lack of appetite. Yesterday I could only get down about 20 almonds and a yogurt until dinner when I had a piece of lean pork and some asparagus. I did not want to eat any of it. Forcing myself to eat is a new thing for me for sure and it's a sure sign that things are still off. The mornings are the worst time for me. I've started getting up earlier to give my body time to work through the nausea before Rick leaves so I know I'm okay to handle the kids. I have to sit up in bed and sip water and force down 5 or so almonds (the almonds seem to work real well as they give my body a little protein). From there I have been chugging down about 4 oz of juice. Once that settles I'm usually feeling okay. I don't do coffee at all right now, and frankly I'm scared to death of it. It's almost as if the hormone levels are at their worse in the morning just like in pregnancy really. My aversion to food makes it so hard to cook too, just like morning sickness. I think I'm going to have to cook when I feel good.

So, I'm on the adventure, scary as it may be, to get back to normal. I will never take it for granted again and I have learned how important my taking care of myself really is on a nutrition level especially. We women are such a delicate balance that as we get older I think we have to pay more and more attention to our health.

I covet prayers for normal and I'm so thankful for some of you who have been praying. I want my kids to have a normal mom again.