A Speaker In a Silent Room

I've grown very emotional about my blogging again. I have to admit, when my computer broke down I was relieved not to even think about blogging. I've always had a love/hate relationship with it. I can't tell you why exactly.

I'm a thinker.

I love to share what I think...usually.

That is half of it, and it's why I keep coming here.

Second half?

I love to converse.

I love to hear what other people think and to stir up conversation.

That is the half I don't really get here.

It would not be so bad if the blogging did not take a lot of my time and energy to do. Many of my deep contemplative blogs are the ones that take the most time and they are the ones that I'm sure are the most challenging for readers to read or even have the time to pay attention to.

I thrive on stirring up thoughts on things that most people don't take the time to think about. I love to have a weird angle on something or a different perspective. I love to stimulate original thought. It's part of my nature to want to do this in writing or in conversation in person. Blogging has never grown to be what I'd always hopped it would be this way. I've seen it get close a few times but quite frankly, I think my drive for it is too much for most people to keep up with. Or, they don't understand what I'm saying at all perhaps.

I go to other blogs I enjoy who write regularly and their feedback is so stimulating! They have conversing readers sharing congruent thoughts or opinions or disagreements or ....frankly, whatever the heck, but SOMETHING.

I've noticed a pattern on my blog. I have a meter and keep track of what goes on here. I don't have a problem with readers, I have a problem with participants. I can have up to 30 readers in a day if the subject matter strikes them as interesting enough and I can have no to one or two responders (and usually I can predict who they will be..and my love goes out to you, you know who you are).

Do you know what that is like?

It's like sitting in a room with 30 people and sharing something you took time and energy to prepare, perhaps even something that makes you vulnerable, and your crowd listens in complete silence. Then, they get up to leave, again in complete silence.

I almost can't stand that.

Would you not wonder? Would you not think to yourself...did I say something wrong? Am I weird? Do they think I'm a nut? Do they get what I'm saying?

Should I care this much? Probably not.

Do I?

Yes. Unfortunately.

Am I emotional about it?

Yes. Unfortunately.

I could be lectured very well right now, and don't I know it. "Alicia, don't worry about all that, just do what you like to do."

Yes, but see, part of what I like to do is hear what other people think too. I can't do that part myself and yet it's half of why I do this.

I understand, most people don't blog like I do. As a matter of fact, most women bloggers hit on the daily stuff. Last time I quit my blog I quit because I could not do that. I could not be just trivial. But this is not good either.

To stretch and strain to pull together contemplative blogging leaves me expectant for response. After all, I put my neck out a lot in my blogging.

I'm really not a self conscience person. However, from this end, it's near impossible not to assume all kinds of things in the silence. After all, if it conjured up a lot of thought in my head, should it not stimulate the same in others? I don't know. I really don't.

Yet, since half of my passion for this comes from conversing with others, I get easily frustrated with the silence. I don't know how it is that even though it's half of my fun of doing this, I seem to draw 95% silent types.

It's starting to make me wonder if I want to do it anymore. There is nothing worse than reaching in, working hard to gather, and pulling out your deepest thoughts only to throw them into silence. Honestly, I think I'd feel better looking at the site meter and seeing that NO ONE came by! But, to see that 15-30 people did and had NOTHING to say, I almost get sick to my stomach.

Am I strange. Yes, I'll give you that.

Am I grumpy about it right now. Yes.

Am I throwing a juvenile fit? Maybe.

You caught me in a moment that I don't care though.

I LOVE the Alcorn book club I meet with in person right now. I adore hearing other people's thoughts on deep things. I love hearing people have SOMETHING to say. It's so stimulating.

I'm not suited for speaking in a silent room. It's just not me.

So, this stage light may very well go out soon.

If not, I'll try to gather the strength to keep it going for the every day stuff cause that seems to be all people give a darn about anymore anyway.

Everything else will have to stay in my head or personal discussion groups where I don't feel so awkward sharing it anymore.

You know the saying "no comment"...it always connotes something.

I wish I could get over it.

It's probably totally lame of me.

I don't have the energy to prepare to speak to silence.

It's not worth it.

Letters To Juliet: A Sensory Packed Delight

I went to see this flick with a girlfriend last night. I've not got out for a while so my excitement was more for that than the movie. Sadly a lot of chick flicks have bored me the past few years to the point where I've stopped bothering and I'm surprised when one is good. This one was predictable but still delightful in every way.

Of course, I adore everything about Italy so if they had even left out the plot, and showed the footage I'd have loved it still. The aerial shots soaring over Verona are enough to get your heart thumping inside. You would think that that many dwellings packed in together, under the Italian sun, would give a feeling of claustrophobic cracker box living. Yet it doesn't, it's delightful! How do they pull that off? If the buildings were modern, symmetrical, sleek and straight, the city would not have the amazing charm that it does. The old architecture plays a character role itself in this movie. The balconys of romantic ironwork, the potted plants and flowers everywhere, the uneven stone work, the arched doorways and windows, it's all appealing to the romantic senses. It's amazing how the city plays a part to awaken the magic of love in the movie.

As if that were not enough, the other setting in the movie is the gorgeous country side. This we are more familiar with here, the rolling hills with vineyards under the sunshine. The only thing we lack here in Cali is the stone villa here and there to make it perfecto! The little roads winding through to little places unknown feed our sense of adventure and spontaneity. We North Americans are more accustom to freeways and straight roads with right angle turns leading to predictable destinations. There is no romantic mystery to our transient traditions. Even the roads in the Verona are small and winding making them mysterious and in a world where you are not in a hurry all the time to get where you are going. This makes travel much more fun! Unfortunately we here have cut the straightest most efficient path to everyplace to get us there as quickly as possible. We measure success with efficiency rather than pleasure of the experience.

The wine was more noticeable than the food in the movie! I hardly noticed what they were eating most of the time, though I 'm sure it was good but more noticed the customary glass of vino. Red, white, it didn't matter. The glasses graced the table everywhere and they spoke of sitting and delighting in conversation and food. They were never full, always about low to mid level. In our culture, many people fill their wine glasses to drink as much as they can as fast as they can. True enjoyment of wine is done in small amounts over long conversations about life and not for the purpose to forget your life entirely. It's another element of slowing down and enjoying rather than hurry up and forget. Eating slowly, drinking slowly, sitting long, letting the sun sink, eating out doors, all of these are packed with sensory delights meant to highlight life rather than smudge it out.

The letters, ah, the letters! The letters and the room where they wrote back to them highlighted a relational aspect of culture that our new generation is missing out entirely on. It really made me miss my stationary sets I had as a teen. Rick bought me a letter "A" wax seal when we were dating that is one of my treasures. He and I use to write love letters and I'd seal mine with that. What has happened to me!? I've been reduced to the occasional sweet nothing on his Facebook page! Life and sentiment, love and heart, are meant to be written with our hands! Something flows out of that that we miss in our high-tech age. The smell and look of the paper, the folding and tucking in the envelopes, the choosing of the perfect stamp, and the piling of the letters in an outgoing basket were delightful to see. It oozed with humanity and heart, and romance.

I could not help but notice the skirts and dresses in the movie as well. They were simple, and light for the weather, but they were so lovely. The women in the movie pretty much all wore skirts except for our main character who put her occasional pair of skinny jeans on. The choice of fabrics fed the femininity of the movie. The guys looked like guys and allowed them to take on their romantic rolls in our minds even better. Lorenzo's robust manly attire added EVERYTHING to his character. Vanessa Redgrave's character Claire wore the most graceful flowing fabrics that made even this elderly grandma full of feminine beauty. The secretaries of Juliet all had their own fashion statement but it was all skirts, florals, simple necklaces, vibrant colors and expressive hair styles filling out the variant feminine elements of their personalities. The clear definition and even highlighting of male and female characters intensified the romance of the film because it fed the core of what we are made to delight in.

We are a people made to fill our rolls and meant to be drawn to the opposite sex for every element God made in them down to their square shoulders hiding under their masculine Polo shirts. They speak strength, security and protection to us. Women in their feminine attire (though I'm admitting I'm a bit of a tomboy and love my jeans!) speak delicate beauty with inner strength but outer need for nurture and care but more than anything appreciation for the beauty God has given her. The costuming in the movie just really adds to the romance in these ways.

We are relational people, meant to be close to those we love and share the beauty of life with them. If we are close but stark and distant, the beauty fades and are just clusters of miserable humanity. The closeness with beauty feeds our desire for bonds to others. The unpredictable passage ways feed our sense of adventure and the tables set with food and beverage invite us to sit and share our lives. The letters invite us to pour out the secrets of our hearts and the longing for human connection. The filming speaks many unspoken truths from the Italian culture.

The story is simple, even predictable, it's true. However, this movie spoke to so many inbred human senses that it was just delightful to watch. I enjoyed the storyline between the two main characters for sure, but there was so much more character play that was not even done by actors at all. We in modern America are missing out on so much life with our fast pace and efficient methods. Who says life has to be efficient all the time!? Who says you have to eat dinner in 30 minutes or less? Who says you can't dress up just because you look darn pretty!? Who says you can't enjoy a small glass of wine with those you love over a well balanced and lovely meal!? Who says you have to eat inside all the time!? Who says you only have time to send an email or Facebook note!? Who says your home should look sleek and modern!? Who says there is no room in the budget for a Sunday drive on a country road leading to who knows where!?

We should take a lesson from these old ways and stop getting wrapped up in modern patterns of efficiency. Besides, my husband is a mailman and he'd appreciate the business of you sending a real letter now and then!:) Summer is coming ladies! Clean up your outdoor seating and use it! Pull out your light floral skirts and wear them! Pick up some lovely stationary and write a heartfelt letter. Let the dishes sit till tomorrow and sit way after dinner to talk. Bring some potted nature to your doorstep. Take a moment to notice your husbands broad shoulders and how romantically alluring they are. More than anything, slow down and notice life's beauty around you and bring it into your life in anyway you can.

Vampires and Legalism...Look out!

If you know me, you know what ruffles my feathers, legalism. My weakness is that I'm not a good rule follower. That's not good for me. I have to be careful to always re-examine my doings and submit to God let alone search out whether something is people preference or command. It's a constant search for me. My greatest strength is that I'm not a good rule follower. Yes, you read that right. Didn't your mama teach you? "Your greatest strength is also your greatest weakness". The fact that I have a huge radar for legalism has helped me grown in my faith as well as challenge me in my faith. God has used it too weed out times in my life when I've fed my flesh by following the law. Is that possible? Quite. Whatever feeds your pride, feeds your flesh. More on that in a bit.
I was thinking again yesterday about the subject of Twilight (yes...AGAIN...grrr) because I came into a conversation online with a fellow Christian on it. I have to really be careful with this individual because their words and attitude REALLY get under my skin and my own pride tries to raise it's ugly head. Still, my pride being put aside (and yes, I really am purposefully shoving it back in the selfish corner it belongs) there is validity in speaking and discerning truth so I usually walk around pondering these things for days until I work it out. I'd like to dissect her response to Twilight. One, because I think a great deal many Christians have this outlook and also because I long to see logic and truth return to the Christian world view as it did for C.S. Lewis. That man is so logical that it astounds me!
The first comment she said was this:
"I have always found vampires and the like, to be from Satan, and would not ever allow it in my home or into my children's minds."
I don't like when people give this much credit to Satan. That HUGE point being said let's remember something I discussed in my Soap Box On Twilight post , which I ask you to read if you have not,(which I'm sure she did not read, just as she has not read the series or seen the movies so she really does not even realize the Vampires are not evil in this story) VAMPIRES ARE NOT REAL! Satan is, yes, very, very, real. He does bring evil things about according to the allowance of almighty God. I don't even like giving him much credit for that because as we see in Job, he has to ask permission! So, as I said in my post, Vampires have been defined in fiction to be evil, and fiction has the freedom to redefine them at any moment as Meyer has in this series. They cannot be from Satan because they don't really exist! They have been know to reflect evil qualities that parallel our association with Satan and his evil ways. Fiction can make a good witch, a friendly ghost or whatever it wants! Mind you, as I said also before, I don't personally prefer evil Vampire type stories and I would not let my children read them either because there are frightening elements that a child could not handle. These books are not for children however, and quite frankly, the original version of Snow White is enough to make any child have nightmares. We have to realize that our imaginations have sensitivities that have to be navigated by age, maturity and preference.
"I find Christians who are infatuated with it, to be a disappointment, and I don't understand."
First, infatuated is a strong word. To enjoy any type of entertainment could be called infatuation.
To say that you find Christians who do something you don't' agree with to be a disappointment implies that they are failing to meet your standard of what a Christian ought to be. This type of assessing each other is dangerous and feeds pride. If you don't agree with them, you can graciously say so and pray for them but encourage them! To practice saying that we are disappointments to each other is not the right approach. I could be disappointed that so and so let's their daughter wear skirts to church that are too short, but would I tell them that they are a disappointment to Christianity? First of all, that's just unloving, but it also implies that I have the say which I don't. Different Christians will enjoy different freedoms in their family according to culture and conviction and if the Lord lays it on us to pray for them or even to approach them and say something we should. But, please don't start telling them they are disappointments.
"But, it is a matter of opinion and taste, and conviction. If you have not been shown from the Gospel, the wrong in those ideals, it's hard to be convicted about it, isn't it?"
This particular person said she is a fan of "The Office", we enjoy that show too. There are plenty of Christians who could come up with a pretty solid argument against that show. Mind you, it would be a legalistic argument but a good one none the less. In her opinion, the sinful lifestyles, occasional crude humor, and worldliness of that show is "not as offensive as the Twilight series" (first of all, how do you know??? you have not even read them or seen them? you are making a judgement comparison with nothing!). See, what just happened here? We want to draw the lines but smudge them out when something worldly is on our interest level. You can't do that, it's called shooting yourself in the foot. Especially when you have a prideful, dogmatic attitude toward what others choose to watch or read. There is plenty of wrong from the gospel on a lot of ideals presented in entertainment, THAT is why we filter it through our theology instead of letting it threaten our theology! How do you keep your kids from this? Teach them to do the same.
Back to her statement:
"I love the Office too, and I don't find it as offensive as the Twilight Series, but I have to ask myself "does this glorify the Lord...does it bring edification to myself and my family...is there any spiritual value in bringing this into my home?" It's tough for me...I pray for God's strength!"
This is true. Yet, how many things in life do we have the freedom to enjoy that are not necessarily directly glorifying to God. Enjoying things is however a way to glorify God because he wants us to enjoy things! He put this in us as a reflection of his character. We can no more filter out all of the fall of man in our entertainment that we enjoy than we can all the chemicals and fat in our ice cream. Do you however choose the treat that will give you cardiac arrest or the one that is better for you? Entertainment is much the same. Some of it is permissible but not beneficial (1 Cor 6:12). Paul then states in that verse that "I will not be mastered by anything". That is the key. The level at which you expose yourself will effect your spiritual health just as the things you chose to eat effects your physical health.
The point really comes back to the bane of legalism rather than the subject of personal conviciton. For it is here that I had the most shock and awe at the attitude being presented.
"We are all on different sections in our spiritual journey. Some of us are strong in our walk in the Spirit and others are not. Only a few are disciplined and enlightened enough to abstain from all evil."
Wow. Where in the bible does it say that? Where does it say that the strongest Christian man who is the most disciplined and enlightened will be able to abstain from all evil!? Only, ONLY, only Christ was that man. It's true that we are all on different parts of our spiritual journey but I heard Paul say quite the opposite of this when he said:
"Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life." (1 Tim 12:15-16)
Paul was what I would consider to be one of the strongest Christian men ever and yet THIS was his assessment of himself.
We have to be careful what the law does to us. It was only meant to do one thing. When the law shows you what a wretch you are, when it lays you bare and convinces you of what a great deprived sinner you are, it is doing what it's meant to do. When it makes you legalistic and puffs up your spiritual pride to convince you you are more enlightened, stronger, more disciplined than other believers, it is an idol and you are being deceived by the enemy. The law can be a form of feeding the flesh because it can feed your pride when it's not laying you low at the feet of Jesus. How often can we be reminded that the ground at the foot of the cross is even ground?
I realize this is a long post (you are welcome Trish:) but I have one final point to make that I've been thinking about.
I think it could be said that having some evil in our literature is actually a reflection of our being made in the image of God. Now, carry on before you get me wrong. I was listening to the Part 2 of Randy Alcorn's book I introduced in the previous post and it struck me that God himself allowed evil in the world to let his glory and righteousness (good) shine forth all the more. This is a great mystery. It's one of the aspects we will be reading about in his book "If God Is Good". To appreciate the good we have to see it's counter part, the bad. Having evil characters in stories to a degree is nothing new under this sun. Some may be more evil than others, but all make us appreciate the justice, the beauty of love, the redemption of sacrifice, and many more good things. Like I stated in my Soap Box post, a good work of fiction has a dilemma, a struggle, an evil, a problem, a darkness to be overcome. Let's not blow it up into something it's not especially when we don't even know what IT is in the first place because we have refused to read it for legalistic reasons. At the same time we don't want to shrink down the vulgarness that is there in many forms of entertainment. Humbly seek that balance but do not be tempted into legalistic pride whatever you decide your conviction is. You may very well choose to shun something, but do not think you are better or a higher caliber of Christian if you do or you have been tainted by sin when you were trying to avoid it in the first place! It's mind boggling really.
We don't want to give much credit to Satan, but he will tempt us to feed our flesh with entertainment. He will also tempt us to feed our flesh with our spirituality. Steer clear of both and be good watchmen on the walls for both enemies approaching at your gates.

Beauty And The Beast: Pantry Day 7

This challenge is kicking me in the batootie. It's become clear that there had to be some things made for quick grab and lunch additions. That meant baking. I don't enjoy baking. Why you may ask? The MESS! I just don't get this mess from cooking. I started with a messy kitchen anyway since no one wanted to detail the kitchen after 12th night last night.
What I procured?



A double batch of Pumpkin Muffins and Granola. Doesn't sound like much does it?



Well....



Here is the beauty.....
(no pic of the granola..sorry)

And THIS ladies and gentlemen.....

Is THE BEAST!

Can someone please come and help me tame the beast!!!? Cause right now I'm throwing my head back, stomping my "I don't wanna!" foot and whining like my tween daughter.

DARN THIS PANTRY CHALLENGE...

Honest Scrap

My BFF Trish at A Future and A Hope gave me a bloggie award a while back that I'm just now getting to. Thanks Trish. I'm supposed to share 10 honest things about myself. Scary.....

1. I don't like living my life by a book, besides the bible that is. The bible is the foundation on which our individual personalities, created like beautiful canvas artwork by God, should be based on. Though there are things to be gleaned by books that tell you how to do things or how to be, or how to react, many times there is more frustration involved in trying to become someone else. I read books when my eldest was a baby on how to raise a baby "God's Way", I read books as a young mom on how leaving your home tidy and wiped down every time you walk out the door was "godly", I've read books that say a godly husband should do this or that and a godly wife says this or that. I purged my library a year ago of such rubbish and started diving into the study of the word of God. I could almost hear the chains falling off!

(Isn't this sign funny!?)

2. I'm a horrid speller and grammar person (my spell check even just corrected my spelling of "grammar" lol!). Thankfully Rick is great at both and helps me but sometimes he does not get a chance to check my blogs and when he does it's embarrassing some of the things that get on here that I don't notice. I'm making a blanket apology right now for my lack of talent in that area. I don't shine in that department at all!

3. I've officially decided I don't like Starbucks except for Fraps. So, I guess I'm a summer time Starbucks gal. The hot coffee blends are too sickening sweet for me now for some reason.

4. I still don't know how to set a table properly, and I never will. Frankly, I don't care much for "Miss Manners" type living. Just don't show me your food while you are talking and I'm content. The rest is just to prissy proper for me. Remember, there is a tomboy under this exterior still. I was the mom who tried to see how loud my soda could make me burp till Rick warned me that may not be a good idea in front of the kids. He had a very proper upbringing, but I happen to know, he likes that I'm not. I promise not to burp loudly except when it's just me and him and I can have a good little laugh. :)

5. I rarely mop my floor. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE a mopped floor. It just seems to be one of the most frustrating thing to clean because it gets dirty again instantly. I seriously mop about once every three months unless there is company. That is kinda scary. When the kids were little I mopped more I promise.

6. Part of my wishes I lived in a big city like New York. Though I grew up in the country and I love it, especially the wide open sky and sunsets, I would love to live in a safe and quaint apartment in the city just up the road from a outdoor cafe. Something cute like in "You've Got Mail". I love the quaint old buildings with the long narrow windows and the "Sesame Street" type stairway entries. If I was rich it would be fun to have a little apartment in the city somewhere (not LA, but maybe SF) where Rick and I could get away. We would spend our days browsing through book stores, having tea or coffee, and walking the sidewalks in the neighborhoods. Living in the city with kids though is not part of my fantasy.

7. I'm a very relaxed Christian mom. We let our kids read Harry Potter and watch Pokemon. (It's not been easy though. Victoria has a Christian friend who told her "I'm not allowed to talk about Harry Potter" to which I think I will train my children to respond "really, are you allowed to talk about Gandalf?" To read my soap box on Christians and fiction go here) We let them listen to just about any kind of music and judge music song by song for what it talks about. When we hear a bad song we tell the kids why it's bad and we turn the station. We don't let them play certain stations in their room because this monitoring cannot happen there. We keep strong lines between fiction and non-ficiton and allow room for both in their lives. I let my 12 year old talk about how she thinks Taylor Lautner is so cute and am not intimidated by the natural changes in her thinking as she grows up. I've learned more and more to lighten up unless there is a good reason not to, and we do have our many things where the kids get a definite "No."

8. I love loud music. All kinds except hard rap. I will never grow up in this way if growing up means I no longer get my endorphins flowing through music! I'll be the old lady driving with loud music someday in a little red Cooper! Look out.

9. I don't like spending money on clothes. I seriously won't buy clothes unless they are from a clearance wrack (and usually less than five dollars) or the thrift store. I think clothing is one of the easiest and dummest ways to spend a fortune. I also don't believe in being too proper when it comes to how you dress. That is such a cultural thing anyway. My kids have been going to school with holes in their knees for a few months now. I'm finally going to patch them this week because they are making thier way all the way around to the edges but I don't have a problem with the look to a point. I also begged my husband not to tuck his shirt in all the time when we got married. I'm just not fashion stuffy. It's so restrictive to dress properly all the time. You can't get into life as much.

10. I am equal parts hermit and social butterfly. It causes a quandy for me constantly. This year I'm convicted to do more to reach out to people and not let my hermit side take over as much. When my hermit side takes over I shy away from really connecting with people and my social butterfly side wines about this very pathetically. This is the year of the social butterfly. The hermit has had a lot to ponder on the past few years. A lot to learn about, a lot to reach out and bravely do despite opinon both spoken and implied. The hermit has had reason to take over. It's a new year though and the butterfly is restless and confident that the hermits work was good but is settled now. She want's to fly, and smile more. You are now all convinced I'm bipolar for sure LOL!

My Twilight Soap Box

I've contemplated this blog post forever. I've shied away from it for forever too. I finally decided to stop since Twilight is on my brain this week, and I feel it's time to get this off my chest.....

I'M A HUGE FAN!

I've been frustrated by the presupposed judgements made on the Twilight books as well as the premise that Vampire books are ungodly. I've read reviews by some who have read the Internet synopsis and based their assumptions on that alone, and I've read some who have based their thoughts on the first book alone. One went so far as to say that we should not read Twilight because we should only focus on the love story between Christ and ourselves (this person will have to highly limit their reading and movie choices as well as rip out the Song of Songs from their Bible I'm afraid) as it is the only real love story in our lives. Oooooo, this will be like tip -toeing on glass to get through, and I'm not even sure exactly what my reasoning is way back there in my head, but I'll just hope what is there will somehow make it's way out well. There are also many aspects to this discussion that I don't know how on earth to hit them all. I'm really just going to give what's on the top of my head.

First, let's just talk about the writing and who it's geared for. It is very important to state, and I firmly concur, that Stephanie Meyer DID NOT INTEND for this to be teen literature. The books gain adult momentum as you reach the third one, and some may feel their teens can handle the subject matter as it is presented inside the context of marriage, but let it just be said here that they were not written for teens. The easy style of reading was what got them categorized as such. The writing style is good, but not complicated or challenging in the literary sense. I have to say, for me as a busy mom, that was one of the things I liked about it.

Second, let's just get into the issue of Vampires shall we? I myself have never been interested in this genre of literature. I'm your typical Bronte/Austen girl all the way. I don't enjoy any kind of horror stories except some good Edgar Alan Poe. Even some of his work creeps me out. I don't think there is anything wrong with Vampire stories however, just as I don't have a problem with Alien stories, or Big Foot, though I'm also not into them. Further still however is the fact that Twilight is not even a typical Vampire story. Yes, there are Vampires in it, but never before have we seen such a take on them. These Vampires don't want to be evil and they recognize killing humans as evil, so they do the only thing they can and feed on animal blood. Let it be said too that this element of the books is only mentioned in fact as one might say "I went out for dinner" and never described in detail or played out dramatically. You cannot even get a gross-me-out from them being "Vegetarians", as they call it. Meyer has created the new, noble Vampire, so to speak, that quite frankly may bore and even frustrate die hard Vampire literature fans! More on Vampires in a little while.

Thirdly, one of the criticisms of Twilight seems to be the frowning upon such an intense romance and romantic character. Some have said that Bella idolizes Edward and would go against anything to have him and be with him. Well, I hate to remind people that that is one element that makes a great story-intensity. Dare I remind anyone of the traditional Romeo and Juliet plot? Do parents of High Schoolers debate whether to have their kids read this play in fear that they may hide a romance, or worse yet, commit suicide because of it? I don't understand then why they would think that an intelligent young woman would deduce that losing all reason or the approval of her parents in a relationship of her choice would be okay because Bella did it! I would hope we could pour more into our kids than to bear concerns like that at ever turn of their fiction absorption. If they did, I would say they were not at the proper maturity level for the reading. Furthermore, I have to say, there are many similarities throughout the story of other traditional novels as Meyer will say herself. You will even find trace reflections of , now wait for it....Austen. Meyer herself was read classic novels by her father growing up and was exposed to them before being exposed to some popular children's works, but I digress.

Intensity of passion and love without sense and rationality are common literary themes. It is true that Twilight shows this in a light never before seen but if we take another look, we will find that it's just a storyline with different clothes on. That is not to say that it is not original, it absolutely is, but the story of love itself and the intensity we experience with it is not. Add to that the supernatural element of supernatural characters and you are concocting a recipe for one supernatural love story. That's all it is though, something unreachable, unattainable, and therefore A REALLY GREAT STORY because it stretches our imaginations. Many times we have heard: "Boy meets girl, they fell in love, got married, bought a house with a white picket fence, had ten children and lived happily ever after" and though it has it's sweet simplicity, it's nothing new for the mental pallet.

Good love story literature always involves passion with a problem. Elizabeth had to get over her pride to learn who Mr. Darcy really was and discover his love for her. Jane had to wait and work out the moral dilemma that Mr. Rodchester had an insane living wife. Juliet fought against the prejudice of her family against the man she loved. Here the problem, though I make it trite, is that he loves her and wants to eat her all at the same time! Stephanie has kicked it up a notch by adding supernatural elements as well in the appeal Edward has physically in his perfect form and, oh dear...dare I mention, sparkle. His battle against killing her is not as realistic to be sure, but it's still a fictitious problem keeping them from their love for one another.

I think what this really comes down to on point number three is this: Many authors write about love in the human world, the reality we know. Many write about it in the supernatural world or the fairy tale world (technically still supernatural) but Stephanie Meyer has done something that some of us are not willing to accept quite yet. She has brought the two worlds together. THAT is why it is unsettling to some,; it's real enough and yet not real enough. I can see why some are not comfortable with their realist toes being stepped on. Here is where I can only lead into what I shall make my final point.

WE HAVE TO GIVE FICTION IT'S PLACE. Frankly, I think this is one of the biggest problems with human psyche. I get so frustrated with Christians especially who are intimidated and appalled by supernatural literature be it Fairies or Vampires. I ask myself...what are you intimidated by? THEY DON'T EXIST. They act as if they were real living characters capable and certainly taking on good and evil characteristics and therefore try to see them through gospel judgements. YOU CAN'T JUDGE THEM WITH THEOLOGY BECAUSE THEY DON'T REALLY EXIST. You cannot say that Vampires are evil, because Vampires don't exist. They are evil in stories (until now...ha,ha,ha!) but they are not evil in reality because they do not exist in reality. I cannot scream this enough. These characters were created by fiction and have traditionally taken on evil characteristics, so therefore we commonly say "Vampires are evil" or "Werewolves are evil". We say this because fiction has defined them as such. Fiction defines it's own characters, and it has the freedom to REDEFINE them by way of the imagination of anyone at anytime in literary history. This is how you can have a good witch or a friendly ghost or ...a noble Vampire. Fiction has the freedom to say that there are good wizards and bad wizards, but in reality if someone is a practicing magic and calling themselves a witch or wizard, they are, according to scripture, evil. This is why we can love Tolkien's stories and not feel ashamed for loving Gandalf. If we put Gandal in reality (which frankly would just ruin my day entirely), we would have to sit down with him and have a good theology and repentance session. Yet, why do we not criticize him in our affections? Well, it has to be because fiction is the one place we can explore our imagination outside the bounds of reality. YET! We still admire or abhor some reflected qualities we see in fiction as they parallel our convictions in reality. This is where I say this post could go on, and on, and on. This is subject matter for a book, and one in which I am completely inadequate to write. Fiction has shadows of truth but does not play by the rules of truth. It is not required to line up notch by notch with what is theologically or rationally true. If it did, guess what, it would cease to be fiction. Christians need to stop trying to glean theology from fiction (or find their theology threatened by it) ,and un-believers need to get the Word of God off their mental fiction shelf! Both would be highly profitable. I personally have an intense passion for people recognizing the life-impacting difference between fiction and fact. To the point that we tell our children from the get-go that Santa is not real, he is fiction and that in reality he was a man who lived a long time ago and died a natural human death. I decided 12 years ago that anything I told my children about the world they knew would be the truth so they would NEVER, EVER slip on the slippery slope of doubting the Words of God or putting any of his biblical revelation on the fiction shelf of their minds. At the same time, I strongly defend the rights and privileges of fiction and what the imagination can explore there through it.

I said that was my final point but I feel there is one more much more awkward point to end with. If reading this saga, or any other romance story, caused one to lust and live in a fictitious world of fantasy about the opposite sex, then I would not read it. I would not recommend that my 11 year old daughter read Song of Songs at this stage of her maturity. I also won't let her read the last two books of Twilight. I do think it's funny though that Christians are so uncomfortable with the romantic marital content in the books , but there is far more marital sexuality in the bible itself. Where are the people lining up to cheer that Twilight actually presents two virgins getting married? When in our day and age do you see that anymore? Yes, there is the intensity of fighting with that desire and holding it off until marriage. We even have a male character taking the lead in the relationship to keep it that way! Shocking for our times. There is nothing more alluring about Edward than there is about Mr. Darcy or Mr. Rochester or any other manly figure of romantic interest in renowned literature. The supernatural element only makes him more appealing but so is Batman and Superman, and many other well known yet less criticized male sex symbols. Edward has the appeal that is not new to the female imagination. He is strong, protective and mysterious, but he is not the first. You could get way too wrapped up with any of them. If that is a weakness, I think it's good to be honest about it and stay away from things that feed your lust. I personally, though I admire Edward's manly qualities and do identify them as attractive, do not spend my reality moments pondering and wishing he existed and would walk into my room at night. If you do, then I'd suggest backing off. Mr. Rochester in Jane Eyre was my first adult male crush and I'm sure I thought about him a lot after reading the book when I was 15. Young girls are more apt to do this fantasizing in their growing-up years as they dream of the man they will someday love. I think parents should be really careful to only allow what their maturity can handle and not overfeed the already natural flow of their romantic imaginations. It all comes back to balance and knowing what escapes are a weakness for you. Escape itself is not a sinful thing. We escape in many ways. Men go fishing, women quilt or scrapbook. We watch movies and "veg-out" now and then; we even spend money on vacations, hobbies, and get-aways. We read fairy stories to our children and tales of lands and peoples that don't exist. We are not misguided to enjoy these escapes unless they cross over into influencing our function in reality or our perception of reality. The world is a tough place many times and I think our imagination and interests are a gift from God to have respite now and then. Enjoying them all the time or letting them cripple us in anyway practically or spiritually would be a problem. Essentially, if you stay in escape mode you become either an addict or obsessed. We have to take it back to the age old problem of what the Enemy tries to do, take something good and make it bad. That's why anything can be overdone just as it can be underdone and what is over and what is under is different for each of us according to our strengths and weaknesses. Sometimes reading a good love story or listening to a great love song can benefit your marriage because it reawakens that part of yourself that mundane life smothers out. You remember that you felt that passion for the one you love in your twitterpated years and should take a few sweet and strident passages back to that place now and then.

So, that is my Twilight soap box.