When God Paints In Black

I introduced the idea of disagreement with God in my post the other day gearing up for the book club. Is that a new concept for you? It's a recent one for me.

When my grandpa died in 2001, I had my first firey trial with my faith that I think I'd had yet. We were not sure if he died with salvation because he didn't express much to us except that when my mom asked him if he'd made things right with God, he said he had. That was a vague way to end things in my mind. I really wrestled for the first time that God allows many to perish. It was the first time I found myself disagreeing with him.

Somehow we think that disagreement with God means that our faith foundation has crumbled, and God is no longer who we think he is. We assume that what he does should meet with our logic, emotions and sense of justice. So much of what God does does not seem fair to us. I remember being down right angry with God for a while when I started to realize these things. Thankfully, I began to pray my way though them and when I changed my own attitude I began to find greater, even more solid foundations to fall on than I had ever known before.

What are the things I disagree with God on?

1. That sin was allowed to enter the picture at all on any level.

Click here to read my post on the origin of evil itself. It's a huge mystery to the point of seeming a contradicting in our minds when we think of how evil could be birthed in God's world when only good things come from God, and all things come from Him as well.

2. That God says he is willing that none should perish and yet so many will.

Again, this seems like God contradicting himself. If he really did not want them to perish, they why are they? Is he not really in control?

3. That Satan was not destroyed early on when he rebelled.

Again, an all powerful God could have done that, had he chose.

4. That we are born with sin we did not ask for.

Really, it's not our choice to be blind to truth because of sin. If men are unable to be convicted because of sin, how is it fair that this sinful state is thrust upon them when it keeps them blind. How can they really be responsible for a blindness they did not ask for?

5. I certainly disagreed with God when he decided three years ago today that my dad should die at 54.

So, those are just some of my big ones. How did I resolve this and even strengthen my faith with these huge issues I had with God? Well, first I had to be willing to speak them out to him and let him know where my heart was struggling. Then I remembered my children.

No matter what we do sometimes, our children do not understand our rules. They don't think they make sense, they don't like them, they even disagree with them. I could sit there on the bed with them and talk till the cows come how trying to explain my reasoning but what is sensible to me is not going to be to them. There may be some light bulbs going off but many times it's just impossible to always get them to see things from my perspective.

If there is such a leap between a parent and child, how vast the chasm must be between us and God. The great mysteries are deep and wise. We don't have what it takes to wrap our heads around a single one of his thoughts. Even if we do get some of them, it's by the work of God's Holy Spirit which really is not us getting it but the Him in us getting it!

If someone rejects God for the holes they think they have found in His plan or their logic alone, they are just as foolish as a child declaring that their parent is not their parent who loves them because they do things they don't understand or like.

There is freedom in saying to God "I don't like this, I don't agree with this, I don't understand this." The freedom I'm referring to is a freedom from the chains of our understanding that hold us back from running the race we are meant to.

Think about it, what was the first thing Satan wanted human-kind to do? Doubt God. Well, not entirely, he wanted them to doubt and then act on that doubt. Doubting God is a result of a disagreement we have with Him. The disagreement is not something we should feel threatened by. We should expect to disagree with God because our wisdom is not equal to His and our thoughts are not like His. If you should not be surprised that you disagree, don't be surprised or discouraged by doubt either. Let it however spur you to do what it's meant to do, seek Him MORE. He promises that those who seek Him WILL FIND HIM. If you however, rebel and stop seeking because of these disagreements and doubts, you will be stuck in despair. If you, like Eve, allow them to become accepted lies about God, you will sin because you will act on what you believe to be true. Your truth has been exchanged by a lie and that lie is that God is not to be trusted and He is not completely good.

If your children doubt your love for them (most likely because they disagree with something coming from you) does that change the fact that you DO love them? Our doubt or disagreement does NOTHING to alter truth, but it DOES alter our thinking if we do not seek God in our questioning. There is only one way to do that and that is through His word. Rejection of God's word due to acceptance of a lie that it has lost it's validity due to our doubt is locking the gate to the path of our own happiness.

Does that mean God's word will give you all the answers you seek? No. In the book of Job, Job is finally angry and venting out to God. Does God answer him with clever comebacks for Job? No. Does he wow him with logic and wisdom that makes Job say "ah, duh, I get it now!"? No. What does he do? HE SHOWS JOB HIMSELF. There is only one cure for doubt of God and that is reassurance from Him that he is SUPREME. His supremacy gives us the eyes to see WHY he can be trusted. When you look at a planet in the sky, do you think about the fact that you could probably trust the maker of that planet to know far more than you do? When you see a baby being formed in the womb or feel it yourself, do you ponder the wisdom that is beyond you? Could God explain to you how those things were made? Would you understand it if he did? I highly doubt it. I can't even understand 12th grade math or science very well!

God showed Job how HUGE he was and how small Job was. He showed him what he needed to see. God cannot explain Himself to us because He knows we cannot comprehend Him. That is a side note to the fact that He doesn't have to! Yet, how lovingly he reaches down to extend himself to us at any level we CAN understand, be convicted by, or comprehend. HE has given us all we need to trust and come to him.

So, we could be like the child who hears his/her father say "I love you, trust me, do it this way" and respond with obedience. Or, we can be the one who says "no, prove to me first why it has to be this way." Sometimes all our wisdom would be complete foolishness to a child and God knows the same about us.

So, seeking is good, because seeking with a heart of trust and assurance will carry us through the parts about God that we don't get. When we come to those parts we have to reflect on all his amazing attributes to remind us WHY we don't get it. God promises if we seek we will find but what he promises is HIMSELF, not all our answers. Along the way, there are many things we CAN understand about God when we ask these questions and seek answers for them. With the submissive heart, it's all going to be a good journey to take.

Remember, when God paints in black, it's to highlight some element of his amazingly bright and beautiful character here on earth. Should you, the created, take the brush from his hand and declare "no, no, no! Yellow is much more cheerful here!"? The great painting he is creating requires the use of variant dark hues. One day we will stand back and be overwhelmed with delight, but sometimes all we can see are a mess of darkness right in front of our face and hear the echo of promises of goodness. If the artist is promising great things and he's shown you His phenomenal handy work everywhere, don't you think you can trust his masterpiece?